Sunday, September 18, 2011

Dealing with a loss

Breast cancer has claimed another innocent victim last night. My mom passed away at around 3:15 this morning. She went in on Thursday around 10am due to fluid build up on her lungs again, and while they were draining it on Friday afternoon her lung collapsed . When I arrived on Saturday morning they were just hooking her  up to a non-invasive ventilation system to try and help build her lung back up. Mom was breathing on her and the ventilation was helping. I saw her and we talked a little, I told her I loved her and that the boys were outside in the waiting room running around which she laughed. She started to get better there for awhile, so I decided to take the boys home to get some rest since we live over an hour away and I told her I would be back early the next morning that I loved her and for her to close her eyes and get some rest. She asked for my brother Justin which then I knew what she was waiting on. She knew I was there and the boys and all she was waiting on was my brother to make it to the hospital. My brother got there and they when in and told her he was there and for Justin to wait outside her room since she was in ICU and they would get him. When the nurse went back in the room she had already stopped breathing on her own and the nurse called in her cancer doctors who then told us she had passed. I was on my way to the hospital still clinging to hope that a miracle would be performed. My uncle met me in the hallway and whispered in my ear that she was gone. I collapsed to the floor, but Jason caught me. The reverend at the hospital was there trying to help me cope explaining that her heart was in the right place and she was in Heaven looking down on us that she is no longer suffering. My mom had breast cancer 7 times in 5 years and it started to spread. Mom knew her time was coming because she talked to me about it on Tuesday. All I know is now there is a hole in my soul and a piece of my heart is missing. I sit here waiting for her to call or text, but in the back of my mind I know she isn't. I know she knows I love her with all my heart and soul and I feel like a piece of me will always be missed.

Moms favorite flower

1 comment:

  1. I am so very sorry for your loss! I can't even begin imagine what you are going through right now! Hugs!